In recognition of National Infertility Awareness Week, we are seeking to raise awareness about this struggle by sharing stories from local moms and a dad who have been in this difficult place, as well as additional local resources to help parents along this journey. Through this series, we hope to provide encouragement for women and men who are facing infertility and perspective for those supporting them in the battle. Thank you to our sponsors, UAB Women & Infants Services, and to each of the contributors to this series — especially the courageous parents who have shared a painful piece of your journeys.
Stats on the RESOLVE website state, “1 in 8 couples (12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining pregnancy,” and I was one of them. Somehow, I always knew in my heart that I would have trouble getting pregnant when we were ready to try for children, although no medical professional had ever given me reason to feel this way. Even so, it still shocked me when the nurse called to casually inform me I was not ovulating on my own and would most likely not get pregnant without interventions.
Infertility in my life was dark, isolating, and at times relentless. It was also hope, peace, friendships, and a time of preparation.
It’s so easy for me to look back on this side of our struggle and notice all the blessings I was prepared for and have experienced, now that I have three children to hold. I know that’s not the case when you’re in the midst of it, wondering if you’ll ever hold a child of your own and if you can be satisfied when the answer to biological children is “no”. But the truth is, infertility will always be a part of my story. It was one of the toughest struggles I’ve faced in my life, and yet, it is one of the things I count myself most thankful for experiencing. I credit it for shaping who I am today.
Infertility Made Me Strong.
There is absolutely no way I could be a
somewhat surviving mom to triplets if it weren’t for the strength infertility gave me. I learned to stand alone in confidence and seek help when necessary. Being a multiples mom can be completely isolating at times, and this was no foreign concept thanks to the isolation infertility bestowed upon me. I also learned to ignore hurtful comments from unsuspecting friends, family, and strangers. People don’t mean to be hurtful, and sometimes they think they’re actually being supportive and helpful when they say things that may not come across as so.
I Appreciate What I Have.
I know the stigma against Pinterest moms, but you better believe we do birthdays real big over here! (It doesn’t hurt that we’re celebrating times three, though, right?) Please don’t mistake this to mean I’m speaking sweet praises over my children and living in the moment 24-7 because I’m also a realist. Birthdays and holidays serve as my Ebenezer stones to reflect on the path we traveled to get here.
It Made Us a Better Team.
Our current life would be a disaster if my husband and I didn’t have a solid team approach. Infertility bonded us through grief, worry, hope, and celebration like few other things we’ve experienced together. It helped build the foundation of our family.
I Gained Empathy for Fellow Strugglers.
There’s not a holiday that passes when I don’t think about where I was and what I felt on those same holidays during our infertility struggle. When I see pregnancy announcements, baby dedications, or those daily proud mom Instagram posts, I think about the girl who experiences them with a broken heart and empty hands. Infertility gave me an awareness to consider what struggles others may be dealing with themselves. We never truly know what path another may currently be walking.
These days, I have the privilege of looking in my backseat while an all-too-familiar infertility mantra song comes on the radio. Sometimes my eyes tear up, and other times I just smile because I am so thankful for all three blessings staring back at me. My heart and hands are incredibly full, but I will not forget the broken path that brought us to this place.