Many factors play into the transition from one to two kids, like the age gap between children, their individual personalities, how they sleep, your tolerance for chaos, etc. However, I think my experience is relatable for most moms with two kids or who are planning to have two or more children.
I Have So Much Mom Guilt
With our first child, my husband and I would huddle around his tiny bathtub. We’d smile and coo while he listened to soothing piano music and enjoyed the bubbles. My daughter, on the other hand, gets a large cup of water dumped on her by her big brother who is “helping.” The stark differences between the lives of our first and second would be comical except that I feel so bad. Sometimes I just tell her (to reassure myself) “I was the second child too and I survived; you’re going to be ok.”
I also have mom guilt for my son. He loves to go places and before his sister was born we went to the zoo, library, McWane and had playdates with friends weekly. However, she hates the car seat and honestly taking them places by myself is so overwhelming. We’ve started staying home most days and sometimes I feel guilty that he’s missing out.
I’m So Tired
I had forgotten how hard it is to get up at night with a baby. With my first, I would occasionally take a nap during the day if we had a long night. Now I’m busy taking care of a toddler in the precious moments my baby naps. This was especially difficult when I was trying to recover from giving birth (also brutal when I’ve gotten sick) because life with two is full steam ahead.
I Feel Like a First Time Mom Again
With my second pregnancy I felt more confident because I had the experiences from my first to lean on. I’d been through childbirth, breastfeeding, sleep training, and so on. However, each baby is unique, which means that they will have challenges you still don’t know how to handle. There’s a good chance the thing that worked magic with your first won’t do anything for your second.
Everyone Needs Grace
My son needs grace when he’s acting out because he feels jealous and wants more attention. My daughter needs grace when she’s thrown off her routine so we can do something fun for big brother. I need grace when I give my toddler screen time so I can get a shower or do housework. My husband needs grace when he’s overwhelmed by crying and wishes we had more time with just us. At the end of the day we all love each other, but not everything is going to be perfect.
I Love Them Both
When I was pregnant I worried that I might not love my second baby as much as my first. I also felt like I was cheating on my son by having another baby. However, as cliché as it sounds, my love just grew when I went from one to two kids. I can’t imagine life without either of my children. When they are being sweet to each other and playing, my heart feels like it’s going to explode. My son and daughter love each other, and I’m so thankful for the blessing of having two children.
