Women’s History Month has had me thinking more about the women who have influenced my life, and three of the [little] ladies who have had the most profound impact on my life are my daughters. I am really grateful for these girls, and I consider it such a joy and privilege to be raising women.
I really love being a mom to all girls. Of course, it’s all I know, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by not having a son. I do love my nephews and my friends’ little guys, but I’ve been perfectly content with my girls. They have such different personalities and diverse interests, and I can already envision the many directions we’ll be pulled as they pursue different athletic and artistic and academic endeavors.
In considering my role as a “girl mom” and the unique aspects of being a mom to three children of the same gender, I immediately think of several reasons why I love having a trio of daughters. Some of these apply to all moms of daughters, not only those of us who only know life as a “girl mom”.
#1 – I get to re-use almost everything.
There are practical benefits, of course, to having multiple children of the same gender. We have not re-decorated a nursery or re-purchased any baby gear or products because the patterns or colors didn’t fit the gender. Even with the news that our first baby was a girl, we chose gender-neutral patterns from the start; we’re too cheap to replace perfectly functional products for aesthetic reasons. I also love that all my girls have been able to wear the same sweet baby clothes. I have vivid pictures in my mind of each of my girls wearing certain outfits. When there’s a little sister in line, almost all items are assured future use! (I’m hopeful this will work out for years to come . . .)
#2 – My girls will have sisterly bonds for life.
A sister can be such a special friend, and I hope these sisterly bonds will unite my daughters for their entire lives. I was surprised but excited to learn our first baby was a girl. When we found out our second was another girl, I was thrilled to know we had a set of sisters! Many people assumed I would be hoping for a boy the next go-around, but I was equally happy to learn #3 was another girl. My relationship with my sister is such a meaningful part of my life. While we had some rough years early on (don’t all siblings?), our friendship began solidifying in our teen years and we have shared such wonderful experiences and made lasting memories through adulthood. My girls will have friends who come and go, but they will have lifelong friends in their sisters.
#3 – These little girls will become women.
I love so many things about my sweet little girls — their hugs, the way their faces light up when they see me, the dress-up clothes and dance leotards strewn throughout the house, the endless drawings and books made for Mommy with love . . . I know these days with little girls are fleeting, and I’m really trying to cherish them. But I also know there is so much to look forward to as my daughters learn and grow. I am so thankful for the day and age in which they will become women. They will have so many opportunities available to them, and I’m so excited to see where their passions and talents will lead them. Maybe they will be teachers or doctors or businesswomen or stay-at-home moms. I enjoy reading to them about women who were trailblazers, and I love imagining how they will change the world as they grow. I know they will, for they have already changed mine.
#4 – My daughters will likely become mothers.
I am excited to see these daughters of mine in each season of their lives, and I so hope I get to see them become mothers one day. My mother passed away when I was in my mid-twenties, before I got married and started a family, so I have not had the privilege of sharing my amazing family with her. I think so often about how much she would love to be Grandma to her grandkids and how she would dote on them and indulge them. I would love to see my mother be part of their lives, and I imagine I would be so grateful to be able to learn from her and call on her for help. Knowing what I have missed out on as a motherless mother and what my daughters have missed out on by not having my mom in their lives makes me very hopeful that I will get to be by their sides as they journey through motherhood.
Most people know that we mothers are deeply grateful for the kids we’re blessed with and we don’t spend our energy thinking about how life could’ve been different with a child of another gender (I realize there are exceptions, sadly). However, those of us who are “missing out” do still hear silly comments and receive surprising reactions from people who make assumptions about how we must feel — and the assumption is generally that we’re disappointed. So let this be my declaration that daughters are awesome and I count myself so lucky to have three of them!