The Easy Child

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This Is Us is a t.v. show that sucked me in from the very first episode. If you have not watched it, let the binge watching begin and don’t forget some tissues for all the “happy tears” and the gut-wrenching sobs you are certain to experience. The show walks its audience through the lives of its main characters, triplet siblings and their parents. The show jumps from the characters’ childhood to adulthood.

In one of the episodes there is a scene were the three siblings and their mom are all in a therapy season. One of the sons tells his mom how he always felt like his brother was “more loved.” He tells her that she has always favored his brother over him, and she must love him more. The mom, clearly distraught, yells that she doesn’t love him any more or less, and then she shouts, “HE WAS JUST EASIER!”

Enter the gut punch to any mom who has more than one child. Chances are, if you have more than one child, then you know that there are those kids who are “just easier.” There is the child who you ask to clean up their room and they smile and say, “sure.” There is the child that you ask to stop pestering their brother, and they shrug and move on to another activity, one less annoying to their sibling. They are eager to hug you and tell you “thank you” when you bring them a snack. Problems with this child are rare and easily resolved.

And then there is the opposite . . . The child who has seemingly fought you since birth. Refused to sleep when you needed them to. Would never take a pacifier or a bottle. As a toddler refused to walk, preferring to be carried around on your hip, strollers unacceptable. Conflicts with this child are often, and the “battles” seem endless. 

“HE WAS JUST EASIER.” I can relate. 

A mother’s love does not come with conditions. It is endless and overflowing. There is no beginning and no end to the amount of love a mother has for her child. My sons are a part of my soul. I could never love one more than the other. 

“HE WAS JUST EASIER.” 

I love you, a hundred million times I say it to my son(s) who are more “difficult” than their brothers. 

I love you, a hundred million times I say it to my son(s) who are less “challenging.” 

Unconditional love for who you are, and not for what you do. 

“HE WAS JUST EASIER.” 

Easy is not what I am looking for; it is their hearts. 

“HE WAS JUST EASIER.” 

You can be wonderful or horrible, I will love you all the same. 

“HE WAS JUST EASIER.” 

Forgiving myself for not being everything, to everyone, at the exact same time. 

If you are a mom of many, some more difficult than others, just know that nothing stays the same. The “easy” child will become the”difficult” child, and vice versa. What your kids need to know is that your love for them stays the same. Fight me, push me away, make me madder than hell. But know that I am your mom and I love you. Loving you is what is “easy.” 

easy child, difficult child - both are loved unconditionally

 

 

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Alli is a Birmingham native who always knew she wanted to be a mommy to many, but had no idea that would turn into many little boys! While being a "boy mom" was not what she expected, you will now find her trudging through the woods and happily exploring everything "outdoors" with her brood of little men. Happily married to a builder, you might find that her Google searches reveal a never-ending list of home improvements, which leads to lots of screen shots and "Let's do this next" text messages. When not chasing around her boys, you can find her off on a long run, drinking coffee, going out for a girls' night, or wandering the aisles of the most wonderful place on earth, Target.