Picture-Perfect Mom :: Happiness Doesn’t Need a Filter

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I work in a field where headshots are a necessity. And I honestly feel like updating your headshot every five years should be a requirement. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed to recognize someone because they look NOTHING like their photo.

I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed as part of a featured section in one of the local news publications. A photographer came and took pictures for the spread, and I thought nothing of it. A few weeks before the publication was set to go to print, I received a draft version of my page. I didn’t recognize myself. The photo was so edited, so softened, and so NOT ME.

My initial reaction was anger. I mean, did the photographer think that I looked old? Did she think that I’d appreciate her smoothing every last line on my face? If she was in the business of editing, why didn’t she tackle the horrible hair day I was having instead? I contacted the publication and told them that I wanted my photo unedited. They were welcome to play with the lighting to make it look better for print, but that my face was just that – MINE. I didn’t need to be made to look younger. I earned the 11 years I’d been in the business and had no issues looking my age. I’m good with 37 and don’t need to re-live 27 anytime soon, thanks.

They did undo the editing and the piece went to press with a much truer version of me. But, it got me to thinking, Is this what we’ve become? Have we gone so far down the “filter” trail, that we can’t stand the sight of an unedited photo? Why would we want others to be fooled by a filter, an airbrush, or a Photoshop tool only to be thrown off when they actually meet us?

picture-perfect mom :: happiness doesn't need a filter

What the heck is wrong with how we actually look?

I totally get that we’ve been doing this since the 80’s, if not longer. We all remember Glamour Shots (kudos if you still have yours). But is it necessary? Why can’t we just look like we do? What example am I setting for my daughter by telling her that Mommy can’t post a pic because it’s not pretty enough? Are we raising a generation of people who can’t let a photo be a photo?

I have an entire Pinterest board devoted to aging gracefully. It’s filled with women in the Silver Season of life, who are absolutely beautiful inside and out. They have wrinkles. They have gray hair. And yet, they look amazing. I wonder how the photos of each would look had they been edited to remove lines and wrinkles. They’d be void of feeling. They’d be missing the street cred that those lines and wrinkles give these gorgeous women. When you look at a photo of an 80 year old, you shouldn’t see a 20 or 30 year old. No. That’s just wrong.

You should see lines, wrinkles and a life that’s been lived.

So, how about this? Instead of obsessing over making ourselves look younger in photos, why not focus on looking HAPPY? THAT’S the example our children need from us. You’d be amazed at what a smile can do for you. It hides bags, sagging, and all of life’s concerns. The next time you take a picture and think, I’ll need to soften my face before I post it to social media, think again. You are beautiful, my friend. Be okay with you and how you look — with makeup and without — in your rawest form.

Work on being happy instead of being a picture-perfect mom. Happiness doesn’t need a filter, no matter how old you are.

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Tami H
Tami's that girl who swore up and down she’d never have children - typical quick-tempered redhead who was just fine with her life the way it was. She went to college in Southern California, where she met her husband and wooed him with her Alabama accent. On their second date, she explained to him that she didn't plan to be a mother, ever. But life isn’t always about our plans, is it? After he proposed, she dragged him back to her hometown of Birmingham and they’ve been married almost 13 years now. She spent her twenties traveling and building a career as a successful realtor in Birmingham, and the first half of her thirties struggling with infertility. In March of 2017, Tami and Mario gave birth to their beautiful daughter Teagan. Now, they can’t imagine life without her. Teagan was born with a genetic defect called Connexin 26, which causes hearing loss. So, she gets to wear the most adorable little hearing aids and Tami & Mario work to educate those around them on the ins and outs of hearing loss in children. Lover of travel, she keeps a grab bag of the names of places outside the U.S. and draws from it every other year! Next up is Argentina! Being a new mom with a demanding career has been a little tough, but she's learning to balance. Having Teagan was the best thing possible, because it taught her to slow down and enjoy life, rather than rush from one appointment to the next. She's excited to be a part of the City Moms Blog Network and the opportunity to meet other moms from all walks of life!