Why?
“Why?” I hear this question approximately 82 times a day from my three year old. I know he is just trying to understand the world around him, but it usually snowballs and takes us down some rabbit trail to which I end up answering, “That’s just how it is” or “Because that’s how God made it.” However, I think this repetitive question has sunk into my mind over the past few weeks, and I’ve started to ask this question for myself, particularly as a mom.
We have recently gone through all the toddler transitions at my house (minus potty training — not ready to tackle that beast yet!). We took the pacifier away and moved my son to a “big boy bed”. We are also preparing for Baby Sister to arrive in early December, which means I am almost 32 weeks pregnant as I write this. Neither have gone well and, needless to say, I am tired. A few weeks ago, my son was scared to sleep in his new bed. So, there I was, 29 weeks pregnant, hunched over the bed rail rubbing my son’s back to try to get him back to sleep, and a thought occurred to me: Why am I doing this?
The pain in my back made me think, “This seems crazy. A pregnant lady shouldn’t be doing do this.” (You can totally judge me for being selfish. It was. But hear me out.) I hated the thought of him being scared, and the mama instinct in me wanted to comfort him. Even if it meant a backache for the next few days.
Choosing the Hard Things
Think about it: Why do any of us moms do hard things (things we wouldn’t choose to do) day in and day out? Why do we sacrifice our bodies, our time, our desires for the sake of these little people who really don’t do much for us in return? Why do we choose to endure morning sickness or an adoption process? Or give up endless hours of sleep, time, and energy to feed or comfort them?
We all know this list could go on and on, but I think the reality is that we are made to love. I’m sure there’s valid research out there and many other opinions, but I think most of us moms would say that we want the best for our kids because we intrinsically love them. To be brutally honest, in most areas of of my life, I choose myself. But when it comes to kids, even when I don’t want to, I naturally choose their interests over my own, because I love them. (Why else would I waddle around with one in my belly while meeting the basic needs of the other?).
What Does This Mean For Us?
That quiet little moment hunched over a bed has become quite monumental for me. It is empowering to know that I am made to do this job as Mom, even when I feel like a failure (which happens often). On my best AND worst days, I am made to nurture, comfort, teach, serve and love my family. It is the greatest job on the planet, and I will do it day in and day out because I am equipped with the greatest thing I’ve been given: love.
