Mommies are superheroes! I am a mother of two beautiful girls, and I love them dearly. But, there are days where I do not feel or show signs of being anything “super.” Being a single mother comes with a large number of responsibilities, in addition to the other non-mommy responsibilities. From cooking, doing the laundry, checking homework, and ensuring everyone is in bed on time — excluding me — my energy is almost depleted. And that’s where this perfectionist had her own “Come to Jesus” moment and said, “You are an imperfect mother, and it’s totally okay.”
Wait, what? It’s okay to be imperfect? Well, yes! It was hard for me to understand and accept that I am an imperfect mother who is maintaining and caring for herself and two mini-mes. However, it has allowed me to rest in the fact that I need grace.
I have yelled, screamed, and fussed at my girls. The stress that a single mother has some days is so intense, it will cause the smallest thing to annoy and upset you. I can remember yelling at the girls and then bawling a few seconds later because I felt like a horrible mother and person. How could they love me after I just lashed out at them for spilling freshly bought strawberries on the floor? Was it worth the blood veins popping and my voice jumping an octave level? No way! But even in that moment, I learned a valuable lesson: grace. My daughters would come to me, hug me, and begin telling me about the latest event in their lives. I would apologize only to hear, “It’s okay, Mommy!”
No! This can’t be. How could they forgive me so quickly? One word: grace.
As I navigate motherhood, I have discovered I have to give myself and the girls lots — and I mean lots — of grace. I am an imperfect mother, which is not always easy to admit. I can attest that I am learning as I continue to raise my daughters to the best of my ability. I admire my daughters for their ability to forgive easily. I love that they can love me despite my short-comings and hug and kiss me as if I never disappointed them.
So, to my single mothers, give yourself a pat on the back and a big tall glass of grace. It does require you to lay aside your perfectionist approach to motherhood and embrace this journey with its ups and downs. But, you will survive. I am surviving. My daughters are healthy, happy, and enjoying life.
Do I get tired of fussing and yelling? Of course! Am I working on myself to become emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally fit? Yes! I desire to become healed in every aspect of my life so I thrive and evolve into the best version of Cammie for my daughters. I apologize often and pray they will understand how much I love them despite my shortcomings and failures that result in imperfect parenting.
Moreover, mothers should not neglect yourselves due to the high demands of responsibilities. We can find simple ways to rejuvenate and unwind and establish a balance, to stress the importance of taking care of ourselves. For me, sitting in my closet, lights out, with instrumental music, helps me unleash all of my struggles, hurts, disappointments, and concerns for the day. I find comfort in the smallest things to help me refocus and recharge. As moms, we have to find balance and allow grace to help us when we are striving to be perfect.
Thus, cuddle up with your kiddos and relax. Sing, laugh, dance, and make silly memories together. Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. So, embrace grace.