Today our contributor Alyson’s husband, Sean, shares reflections on his fatherhood journey and the love and laughter his son Parker has brought to his life. We wish you a wonderful first Father’s Day, Sean!
For the weekend of Thanksgiving 2015, my wife Alyson and I decided to get away to our favorite destination of Fairhope, Alabama. It was there that we decided that we would begin trying to start a family. I arrived home from work one day in February to my wife holding a small box with a bow on it. She’d gotten me something, she said. I opened it to see a positive pregnancy test. It was the most exciting moment of my life.
Since that day, I’ve gained a collection of unforgettable moments. From telling our families to putting together the nursery, each step was filling me with a sense of purpose that I’d never felt before. Alyson has always been the planner of the family, and this journey toward parenthood was no exception. Though we were told that nothing can prepare you for being a parent, we weren’t taking any chances.
Pre-Baby Preparations
Alyson and I worked hard at work and even harder on our marriage during the pregnancy. I believed deeply that we had a great relationship and bringing a baby into the mix would test that bond that we had built over the five years we had been together. I read books and listened to podcasts in an attempt to be the best husband and father I could be. I always knew Alyson was going to be a wonderful mother, but I was nervous about my own parenting capabilities.
I desired to be much more than the “know-nothing dad” that I felt was expected of me. Alyson and I are not a traditional couple. We both work full-time jobs and contribute to tasks around the house, inside and out. We have never conformed to gender roles and I refused to allow a child to change that. I wanted to have all the childcare skills that I needed to allow Alyson to leave me alone with our baby without any concerns.
We had many “Once the baby gets here…” conversations over that nine-month stretch. But very rarely did these conversations lead to anything substantial. The truth was, we were clueless. Maybe Alyson less than me, but no matter what, we could not accurately predict what our life would be like when our baby arrived.
The Big Arrival
Alyson’s water broke late at night on November 9th. She reacted as I expected she would throughout the whole process. She was calm. We already had everything ready to go, so we simply hopped in the car and took off to the hospital. I didn’t know what to do so I followed Alyson’s lead and tried to stay as composed as possible. From waking up and going to the hospital to sitting and waiting for our son to arrive, everything felt surreal.
On November 10th, we welcomed Parker Reed to the world. Since that day, Parker has had many health challenges, and most of them will stay with him for the rest of his life. Though Parker and our family will have a tougher road than most, we have managed to have plenty of moments of pure joy with him. As his father, I am determined to continue that trend of sharing as many smiles and as much laughter as we can. With Parker, I laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed, love deeper than I’ve ever loved, and cry harder than I’ve ever cried. And as I reflect on this journey on my first Father’s Day, I’m beginning to think that that is the entire point.
