How Many Are in There?!
When the ultrasound technician shared with us that there was not one–but two–beating hearts in my belly, I was FREAKED OUT!! I wasn’t prepared to have two babies at the same time. I was already a mother–so I knew what I was doing–but having to manage two together all at once? That was not really in my plans.
I get asked a lot, “What is it like having twins?” The short answer: interesting. The long answer: interesting!
There really isn’t a way to prepare for motherhood. You can read books, ask friends and family, and try your best. But when it comes down to it, your experience will be different than someone else’s. There just isn’t a way to be ahead of the game in being a mom.
Adding two bundles of joy at the same time was very overwhelming for me. While I pretended to have it under control, the curse words I said that day to the ultrasound technician told a different story.
I have fraternal twin girls. I will say that when I was pregnant, the thought of having these two precious babies along with my other daughter–dressing them the same, sitting around having tea parties, and painting all the nails and toes–did bring a smile to my face.
But here is the reality: all kids (even twins) are different. Just because two kids were born on the same day at the same time doesn’t mean they are going to be best friends and share the same interests. More than likely, it will be quite the opposite. My twin girls look different, have different interests, and even go to different schools. One is blond and short, and one is red-headed and tall. Academics are very easy to one while the other is dyslexic. They both like sports, but one wants to wear lip gloss and ribbons when she is playing. The other wants to wear blackout and look tough.
Double the Hugs, Double the Tears
The hardest part of being a twin mom for me is not comparing. As moms, we all try really hard to remember each child is an individual. But it can be challenging when two of them came into this world as a unit. I struggled with this especially early on. One of the girls had developmental delays, and it was such a struggle for me to remember that just because she shared a womb with someone didn’t mean she shared a brain. They each would do things in their own time.
My girls are now ten, but I still struggle with the concept that although they do love each other, they are still just siblings. Like their other two siblings, they want their own space and their own life. They don’t want to just be automatically lumped with another because they share a birthday.
Having twins has taught me so many life lessons. I am thankful to be able to be a part of this twin mom world. Watching my girls scream at each other one minute and the next love each other with such fierceness is incredible. I believe that having twins has given me such a different perspective on motherhood than it would have if I was just a mother to singletons.
I’ve learned not to compare and not to generalize. I also learned not to leave toddler twins unattended, because you never know when they might think it’s a great idea to help each other change their dirty diapers! Being their mom has most definitely made me a better mom, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!