In April 2018, I decided to try to get into running. Before I turned 30, the idea of running to me was laughable. At first, I was just running to get in shape and lose a little weight. I downloaded the C25K program and got after it on the treadmill in our neighborhood clubhouse. The treadmill faces the playground and the pool, so my kids would leave me alone while I struggled to breathe through my workout. After I finished the C25K program, I downloaded an audio fitness app to continue trying to improve my time. I wasn’t making any headway on my own, so I began a cross train to 5K program on the app and did some individual runs and actually enjoyed them all. Me? Enjoying a RUN?
This post, however, is not about running. It IS about the paralyzing fear and anxiety I had as I looked at the registration form for the Magic City 5K in November. I waited until almost the last minute to sign up, five days before the race, and I couldn’t seem to bring myself to pay real money to run and potentially not attain my goals. What if I came in dead last? Surely if someone saw me gasping on a run they would laugh! Judge my lack of fitness and speed! People three times my age would pass me!
But I did it anyway. And got my sub-40 minute 5K. Then I signed up for a triathlon. I started chasing new dreams.
I enjoyed writing short stories in high school. I had a great literature teacher who encouraged me, and after high school, I continued to write short pieces about whatever was inspiring me at the time. When a friend shared that Birmingham Moms Blog was looking for contributors last year, I worked for DAYS on a submission post. I must have read it aloud to my husband six times to make sure everything sounded perfect. And then, staring at the computer screen, I froze. What if they passed on my writing? And how could I share my posts for everyone to see?
But I submitted it anyway. And they are still allowing me to write. I started chasing new dreams.
These fears and anxieties follow me throughout my life. My home is (sort of) clean, but my decorating skills are seriously lacking, so no magazine would pick my living room as a cover feature. I haven’t hosted a small group in my house because will I have enough seating? I’m the antithesis of a room mom at school. Come up with the fall festival booth for the class? No, thank you — I’m sure someone else is much more creative than I am and will have an amazing idea. Sign me up for a volunteer time.
When I’m overwhelmed, I head to Pinterest and search funny mom quotes or inspirational fitness quotes. There are some real gems there that make me laugh and put life back in perspective (you should search some!). My kids are fed and clothed, their homework is almost always done, and they have a roof over their heads. That’s a win. I have enough seating for my family and a few extras, and I don’t mind sitting on the floor with the dog hair. That’s a win. I know the One who loves and values me even if I’m not room mom of 4th grade. That’s a win. I completed a race and a triathlon without quitting. That’s a win.
Mama, do the hard things, whatever it is you want to do. Close your eyes, jump feet first, and do what you’re scared of — start chasing new dreams. Write a book or a blog post, try out for a role in the local theater show, quit your job to pursue your passion. Push aside the anxieties and fears we as women so often have when it comes to being outside of your comfort zone. Once you take that first step, who knows where it will lead? It’s easy to settle into the safety of being a mother, where you know someone will always love you and believe you’re the best chef in the world for making PB&J. You might be terrified every time, but stepping out towards any dream, big or small, is a win. And your kids will notice your bravery.
Be encouraged, Mama! Do the scary, exciting new things, no matter what that looks like in your life! Your courage will be infectious.