We would like to thank Children’s of Alabama for partnering with us on our “How I Became a Mother” series. Every time a baby is born in Birmingham, Children’s of Alabama is there to offer support. Ranked among the best pediatric medical centers in the nation, we are thankful to have this state-of-the-art facility and these compassionate care providers available to Birmingham families.
Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
At 22, I was married and already dreaming of babies. I knew virtually no one my age who had kids yet, and many people thought I was crazy for already wanting to start a family. For a long time I let other people’s opinions of how I “should” live my life dictate how I did actually live my life. Two years passed before I was able to get pregnant with my son, but when I did finally see that positive pregnancy test result, I knew I was finally getting the chance to live my dream. With every kick, every hiccup, every inch my son grew inside my body, the purpose and meaning for my life grew as well.
At 37 weeks pregnant, I was substitute teaching a high school chemistry class when my water broke. I literally wrote an assignment on the white board and felt a POP! I waddled over to the computer and e-mailed my husband: “I think my water broke, or I peed on myself — keep you posted!” My first-born baby boy came into this world 12 hours later, eyes wide open and looking right at me as if he had known me forever.
I had loved babies my whole life, I had nannied, taught, babysat, and truly felt love for children who were not my own. Yet, this baby boy of mine, he was more than just a baby to love; his birth was the beginning of new life for him, but also for me. I was no longer the girl I had been before. There would never again be just an Alli; I was now Mom to someone.
As his tiny, warm, wet body was laid on mine just minutes after his birth, the weightiness of motherhood was also laid on me, and it was so strong I could physically feel it. To experience a love that deep, that powerful, is awe-inspiring. I have heard it expressed that newborn babies have come straight from the hands of God, and truly on the night of his birth I felt the deepness of that journey.
Eli Scott … my son, my firstborn, my first love. I have probably done a million and one things wrong since that fall night in 2008, when we met for the very first time. But I have also loved fiercely, and I discovered that although I was unprepared and unworthy of such an honor, I was still bestowed the gift of motherhood.
Today, he is no longer a baby, and I am no longer a new mom. I am now the person he runs to when life becomes too much, maybe because we both still feel the deepness of a life once lived together in a single body, or maybe it is because his trust is without limits simply because I am Mom.
I became a mother on September 30th, 2008, but I know that I will spend the rest of my life hoping I live up to the the highest calling of my life, being a mom, being his mom.
