On the Enneagram test, I am a one wing three. As much as I hated to admit these results at first, they’re extremely accurate. For those of you unfamiliar with the Enneagram, this means that I’m an extreme perfectionist with a nice little side of achiever as well (my own personal definition). I’m always overly hard on myself and looking for areas of improvement. So, when I say that no one is more thrilled to set goals and attempt to achieve them in a year, you’ll find no truer statement. Please hear me when I say, there is nothing wrong with a desire to set goals or achieve things. Keep reading because I promise this is also not another post telling you how to achieve your New Year’s resolutions and be bikini-ready in time for spring break or to skip washing the dirty dishes in your sink in order to live in the moment.
For me, the new year is a time of personal reflection and analysis. I evaluate how I’m doing in life, areas I feel I could improve, and I make a plan of action accordingly. There’s honestly nothing special about doing this in the new year. It can be done at any time. Personally, I find it’s just the perfect opportunity to give myself a clean slate as we turn the calendar page over to a fresh new year, especially after such an intense time of waiting and reflection during the advent season.
However, this year, I feel strongly about a new call to action — a refocus from resolutions to legacy.
What if instead of setting goals for eating more vegetables daily or reading more books in the year, I focused on what truly matters? Who is the woman I want my children to remember me as? What will they say about me after I’m gone? Will they discuss how much of a breastmilk stash I pumped or how much screen time I allowed them? How beautifully staged and decorated my house is? The number of likes on my Instagram or Facebook posts? How trendy of a dresser I was or how great I was at styling my hair? Whether I was a good enough SAHM or that I wasn’t as good as moms who worked?
Confession: every one of these things is a mom insecurity I possess in this crazy comparison game we all play with one another. So, what if for the next year, instead of feeding my discontent with comparison and a goal list, I focused on the person I want my children to remember me as and how I can become her?
This New Year, I pray they will see me as a woman who finds contentment in the Lord first and foremost, rather than the approval of man. One who sacrifices and gives to others out of pure motives. A mother who demonstrates hospitality and warmth. May they never spend a moment questioning my love for them or feeling unwelcome around me. May they know that they are more valuable to me than a rectangular screen in my hand. May I embrace and rediscover moments of solitude and silence to recharge, rather than filling every moment with busyness.
