Birmingham Moms Blog :: Introducing Melissa

Birmingham

Birmingham has been home to me for 3.5 years now. Coming from Oviedo, Florida (basically Orlando), you’d think I’d want daily roller coaster rides, intense-inner-most-layer-of-the-sun-burn-your-face-off-scorching-heat weather and lots of traffic on the daily. Well, I did get to keep two of those options living here, and roller coasters got kicked out of the equation (thankfully). All kidding aside, Birmingham is everything I love in a city. The history is rich, the food is phenomenal, and the ever-growing number of extra-curriculars has always got me wanting to participate. That’s why when my bonus daughter, Isabella, comes to stay with us in the summer (she lives with her mom in Illinois), our schedules are jam-packed with activities. I love that we get to teach her something new just about every day, whether it’s at a farmers market, a restaurant, or even driving through a state park and observing Alabama wildlife. She’s getting exposed to a different setting, she’s learning about Southern cultural norms, and she’s immersed in the beautiful, eclectic place that her dad and I now call home.

Moms

Mom is such a strange word to me when I apply it to myself, but I’d better get used to it because it became official in January of 2015. I am (bonus) mom to Isabella. Sometimes I feel very lost, sometimes I feel on the right track, and sometimes I feel stifled beyond belief. A lot of times, I feel joy, pride, and fear. All of which, I hear, are normal in motherhood. I love it when I feel in control, and I fear it when I’m not. There are times I wish I had a biological child because at least then I’d have some reference point of how to face this whole step-parenting/bonus-mom situation with some iota of confidence. You see, Isabella has a mom. A mom who is wonderful to her, great to me, and still very much 100% a part of her life. So, in a million ways, I’m extremely lucky to have her, because I don’t know exactly what I’m doing yet! And in other ways, I’m challenged because I know that my opinions do not reign supreme in this kingdom. It’s a delicate dance and I’m still learning the steps.

Blog

Blogging is new to me. Well, at least this side of it is. I enjoy reading blogs because they are real, raw; and that connection or feeling of relief is something that I never thought a stranger could provide me. I’m excited to be a contributor to Birmingham Moms Blog because I’m finally ready to share my journey. It’s been a rough two years for me personally, and while I’ve found ways to heal, it’s a never-ending process. I’ve struggled with something that I never imagined I’d ever have to, and it’s ripped me apart and I’ve remained relatively quiet about it. It’s so very hard to convey emotion (which I’m already horrible at if it’s not related to humor or anger) when everyone around you just wants to move on, which is understandable, but also painful. So, you get to join me and be my stranger, if you will, on my journey of sharing how I found my happy again, exploring infertility, and managing everything that goes into dealing with multiple miscarriages, while learning how to be a pre-teen bonus mom in the process!