Aside from the start of pumpkin spice season and the return of college football (y’all know that is a pretty big deal around here), September also marks the beginning of Spinal Cord Injury (SCI) Awareness month. We’ve all seen a child stop mid-stride to stare or point at a wheelchair exclaiming, “Mom, look at that guy!” One goal we suggest for all parents is to make wheelchairs (and those in them) more familiar and less “scary” or “intimidating” when seen in public.
Why should we be more aware of SCIs? Because SCIs are becoming increasingly common throughout society, paralleling life-saving advances in medical care. About 17,000 people (which happens to be nearly the entire population of Selma, AL) sustain a SCI each year in America. Most of these people are injured in car wrecks and the majority are males. Mothers of boys know that they’re more likely to play contact sports such as football and/or indulge in risky behaviors such as driving fast in cars, ATVs, motorcycles, and speedboats.
As a physician specializing in rehabilitation medicine, I witness the impact of SCIs every day. Some problems are thankfully temporary while others result in permanent changes to one’s normal neurologic function. An individual with a SCI may not be able to feel or move their legs and may have difficulty with bodily functions such as respiration, heart rhythm, digestion, urination, etc. Patients with SCIs, their families, and my rehab medicine colleagues are aware of these injuries; however, many people in the general public are not. Often an SCI is viewed as a taboo topic and rather uncomfortable to discuss with these individuals. This brings us back to the goal of SCI awareness month.
Parents rarely give a second thought when a child stops and points at an insect or toy and asks questions such as, “Mommy, why does it look like that?” These acts of curiosity are not considered an issue when referring to an object that lacks feelings. But we have a different reaction altogether when our children point and stare at another human being. Parents or caregivers are understandably unsure of how best to respond in these situations. I have personally found myself in similar situations and can relate to feelings of embarrassment. My first reaction has been to quickly quiet the offending child and walk away before anything else can be said out loud. As parents, we ought to remember that a child asking the question was not intending to be rude. The child was simply curious. Language and empathy centers within a child’s developing brain are not fully mature. Children therefore speak what is on their mind as they’re thinking; the consequence of their words and actions is not contemplated ahead of time.
So, what should well-meaning parents or caregivers do when children stare, point, or ask a question about someone who looks different? Hushing the curious child often does stop them from saying anything else. The downside to this method is that you run the risk of reinforcing either the “different” person is wrong (or to be avoided) or that their curiosity is unwelcome. The best advice I can offer this month is to let your children say what they’re thinking.
A SCI patient years ago told me that often when he is in public, children stare at his wheelchair and ask their parents, “What is wrong with that guy’s legs?” He smiled and stated that he already knows he cannot walk. Curious children inquiring about his legs or wheelchair are simply not offensive to him. What does make him sad is when parents rush their children away after taking note of his wheelchair, as if he is someone the children should fear rather than viewing him as a friend. He prefers parents walk up to him with their children, smile, make eye contact, and introduce themselves as they would with any other individual possessing functional legs. After the conversation gets rolling (pun intended), the topic of his wheelchair may come up, but it is no longer scary or shameful to children. If appropriate, they get the chance to touch it and ask all of their innocent questions.
As with all physical differences, it is important to teach children — by example — that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities.
