A Mom’s Hardest Job :: Taking Time for Herself


I have been a mom for thirteen years now. I sort of feel like I need a gold medal or something for even keeping all these kids alive for this many years.

After being a working mom of one, stay at home mom of four, then back into the working world (outside the home), one thing has never changed: the guilt. I’m talking about the guilt I feel when I take–or want to take–time for myself. You know, that uninterrupted amount of time that doesn’t include a by myself run to Target or some other chore that has to get done. 

Guilt in Taking Time to Myself

Why, as moms, do we feel such guilt when we take a nap or occasionally grab a Starbucks and sit in our car in a parking lot alone in silence? If you are like me, you feel this overwhelming sense of guilt when you take just mere moments for yourself.

taking time for myself

I have asked myself this question over and over again, and never do I have an answer. Although I’ve never figured out why I feel such guilt, it’s becoming easier to recognize that when I do take moments just for me, it always turns out to be positive. 

It Doesn’t Have to Be Grand

Moms, not every moment of time to yourself has to be grand. It doesn’t always have to involve a spa day or a vacation.

But it does have to be often, and it does have to be just you. Being away from your family and from your work without the the daily life distractions is necessary. I know that whenever I take those moments for myself, I only feel invigorated afterward. I never feel worse off than I did before I took that time alone. 

Put Yourself on Your Calendar

I am a scheduler. Like color coded, electronic calendar, paper calendar type scheduler. So why not schedule time for myself? Once a week, typically the middle of the week, I schedule a meeting with myself.

Some days it’s a hot bath with my book and a glass of wine late at night. Sometimes it’s my favorite coffee while parked down the street from my house after work and TikTok videos. But every week it’s something for a minimum of thirty minutes. It’s a time to destress, recharge, and not be a mom, a wife, a boss . . . just me! 

Reintroducing Myself

No one said doing this will be easy, but it’s necessary. I lost myself for a while about eight years into motherhood. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be.

I knew I was a mother and a wife, but that seemed to be the only person I was. Starting off slow and taking time to reintroduce myself has proven to be the best thing I have ever done. While the guilt is sometimes still there, it is slowly being replaced by joy and a newfound love for life! 

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Kristen is an Alabama native, sort of. As the daughter of a military man, she was born in England and spent the first 5 years of her life there, but Alabama has always been her "true" home. She was raised from then on in Wetumpka, Alabama, which is famous for the movie "Big Fish" and most recently the town was chosen to have a remodel by Ben and Erin Napier, who are stars of the HGTV show "Hometown". Kristen graduated in 2004 from Auburn University where she met her husband Jeff; they've been married 15 years. They have four children together, ages 12, 10, 10, and 3 and reside in Homewood. Kristen has had a versatile career which extends from owning a local fabric/sewing shop in Homewood, AL to recently working as a Team Lead for the popular babysitting app.