I have been a mom for thirteen years now. I sort of feel like I need a gold medal or something for even keeping all these kids alive for this many years.
After being a working mom of one, stay at home mom of four, then back into the working world (outside the home), one thing has never changed: the guilt. I’m talking about the guilt I feel when I take–or want to take–time for myself. You know, that uninterrupted amount of time that doesn’t include a by myself run to Target or some other chore that has to get done.
Guilt in Taking Time to Myself
Why, as moms, do we feel such guilt when we take a nap or occasionally grab a Starbucks and sit in our car in a parking lot alone in silence? If you are like me, you feel this overwhelming sense of guilt when you take just mere moments for yourself.
I have asked myself this question over and over again, and never do I have an answer. Although I’ve never figured out why I feel such guilt, it’s becoming easier to recognize that when I do take moments just for me, it always turns out to be positive.
It Doesn’t Have to Be Grand
Moms, not every moment of time to yourself has to be grand. It doesn’t always have to involve a spa day or a vacation.
But it does have to be often, and it does have to be just you. Being away from your family and from your work without the the daily life distractions is necessary. I know that whenever I take those moments for myself, I only feel invigorated afterward. I never feel worse off than I did before I took that time alone.
Put Yourself on Your Calendar
I am a scheduler. Like color coded, electronic calendar, paper calendar type scheduler. So why not schedule time for myself? Once a week, typically the middle of the week, I schedule a meeting with myself.
Some days it’s a hot bath with my book and a glass of wine late at night. Sometimes it’s my favorite coffee while parked down the street from my house after work and TikTok videos. But every week it’s something for a minimum of thirty minutes. It’s a time to destress, recharge, and not be a mom, a wife, a boss . . . just me!
No one said doing this will be easy, but it’s necessary. I lost myself for a while about eight years into motherhood. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be.
I knew I was a mother and a wife, but that seemed to be the only person I was. Starting off slow and taking time to reintroduce myself has proven to be the best thing I have ever done. While the guilt is sometimes still there, it is slowly being replaced by joy and a newfound love for life!