Last week, I was busy preparing my two-year-old and three-month-old to go back to school. I carefully packed their backpacks, labeled all of their items and cut my son’s sandwich into a star. I was nervous about how they would adjust. Would my baby girl take her bottles well? Would my son remember to tell his teacher when he needed to potty? In all of the chaos of work, motherhood, marriage, and running a home, thoughts of starting back to school myself had been shoved away.
I Feel Nervous
I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I was nervous about my first day of school. Where in the days of barely having a moment alone am I going to fit in time to study? Do I even remember how to study and take tests after all this time? I don’t have the answers to these questions. I’m simply going to get up and try my best day after day.
I Feel Guilty
I feel guilty about the potential strain this might have on our family. My husband and children are sacrificing financially so that I can pursue my goals. Money is a limited resource and by choosing to further my education we are saying no to many other worthy causes. I feel guilty for missing out on this time when my kids are so little. My kids will not only miss time with me during work, but also for school related obligations. I feel guilty for my husband having to pick up even more responsibilities in our home and with our kids.
I Feel Excited
I’m excited to gain new skills and knowledge. I look forward to challenging myself academically and for the new career opportunities that I will have available.
I Feel Hopeful
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I look ahead. I think about the financial blessing it will be when I am able to use my new degree. I dream about my children (then two and four) knowing that Mommy worked hard to reach her goals! I picture my husband looking at me full of pride on graduation day. I know this won’t be just my accomplishment, it will be an accomplishment our whole family can share in.
Today is my first day of school, but not too long from now, it will be my last day.
