I jumped at the chance to write a post for National Middle Child Day! And then I hesitated . . . this is something close to my heart, navigating, as a first born, raising a middle child. Honestly, I struggle some days to understand where he is coming from. Why doesn’t he assert himself more? Why doesn’t he just love family game night? (I mean, what is not to love about six of us trying to cheat at Monopoly Cheater’s Edition?) I almost avoided this article entirely and thought of backing out, but that is not what my heart wanted. So I am approaching this article in a completely different way . . .
Celebrate Your Middle Child
In our family of four kiddos it seems we would have two middle children; however, there is one that is definitely the one “stuck in the middle.” There is one child that is not sure whether to “hang” with the older crowd or younger crowd. This one is not always sure where his “place” is in the family — he was once the baby and now he is “stuck” somewhere in the middle, not wanting to follow the path set by the oldest, but not as attention-seeking as the baby.
So how do you respond? How do you help them find their place? CELEBRATE your middle child. Show them their strengths to help them find their path. This may take a little more time on your part and a little more intention. Find a way to help them find their “thing” (sport, instrument, hobby, etc.) and celebrate that. Be their biggest fan!
Include Your Middle Child
When it is family game night . . . your oldest may jump on board with their competitive spirit and then the baby jumps on board because they love getting excited and receiving all the attention for their cuteness, but know it is OK if he/she does not always want to deal with these bigger personalities. ALWAYS ask, but know sometimes they just want to hang back and do their own thing. ALWAYS ask and know that sometimes if you give them a responsibility it helps them feel more important. A family hike, with the middle child as the front pacesetter, gives them a taste of being in charge with some extra attention thrown in.
Enjoy Your Middle Child
It is very easy to celebrate every first in your family because it is all new and an accomplishment for parents and children. And when you know it is the last time for an activity you tend to savor it a little longer. This is why you need to enjoy the days of the middle one. The days that are more simple. You realize you do not need a grand celebration for every word or first, but you are also not mourning those “last times.” You are just a regular parent with more simple expectations. You are more laid back than you were the first time around but not too laid back and tired. Enjoy these times of normal, real, and simple. Enjoy the times of being his/her mom.
I am convinced that the middle child is full of the most surprises. I watch mine on his journey and wonder what will come next. These kids do not have a set plan like the first, but they are not necessarily just “winging it.” I know it will be amazing, I am enjoying the adventure.
Happy Middle Child Day!
