You and me, we’ve been inseparable (minus those 16 days in the NICU) until now. Every activity has been carefully selected and experienced together. Whether it was sitting in my lap for story time at the library or Mommy and Me music class, play dates with friends, visits to the zoo, playtime at home, you name it, and it’s been us. Well, the four of us, that is.
But now, dear ones, it’s time to let you go.
I know, I know, they tell me it’s only three hours of preschool, but for me it symbolizes a bigger shift in our life. It’s a move from needing me towards independence. A relinquishing of control and placement of trust into another’s hands. You see, I know that those three hours are now the “lost hours” — time I can no longer account for until I hear the stories second hand.
It’s a foreshadowing to my empty nest that will be your college days.
In spite of this, I’m choosing to let you go. I never want to be the one who holds you back or keeps you from dreaming and becoming who you’re meant to be. It’s time for you to learn how to make choices, new friends, new experiences. Don’t worry, I’ll still be right here on the sidelines wildly cheering you on. You’ll make some mistakes along the way, and I’ll help you brush yourself off and stand up again. Sometimes people won’t be kind, and I’ll be here encouraging you to keep trying.
I’ll be growing along the way too — relearning how to fill my time and the silences when you’re absent. My mind will drift to you throughout our time apart, and I’ll wonder what you’re doing. Simple household tasks and errands will remind me that you’re missing because growing is a hard process for moms too.
When our time apart is over, I’ll be right here waiting to listen to the adventures of your day. I’ll breathe easier because the missing pieces of my heart will be back in their proper places again. My arms will be open for all the hugs you can muster, and my lap will be ready for more story times — even if I have to peer around you to see the books these days. I’ll resolve to savor our time together more and let laughter fill the silent voids from earlier in the day.
Letting you grow is one of the most difficult jobs of being a mom, but I love seeing who you’re becoming. So, step out little ones. Be bold and take on the world!