The Truth About Our Open Adoption :: A Letter to Our Birth Mother

0

November is National Adoption Month and just another reason why I love this season so much! The cooler temperatures, beautiful fall foliage, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the list really goes on and on. Last Thanksgiving is one we’ll never forget — we shared the news of our triple blessings with our parents and families, and this year we are celebrating the holidays with our nine-month-old daughters Alie Ana, Alexandra, and Mila. I really couldn’t be more excited for this first holiday season with our daughters, but I also know this wouldn’t be possible without the gift of adoption.

In honor of National Adoption Month, I want to share a letter I wrote to our birth mother earlier this month:

Mamma T, 

November is National Adoption Month and I want to spend the month honoring you, raising awareness about foster care and adoption, and sharing our story. How lucky are we to have such a beautiful open adoption, and how lucky are our daughters to have two sets of parents and families who love them so much? There is certainly no shortage of love for Alie Ana, Alexandra, and Mila, and my heart is so happy knowing God placed us in each other’s lives and continues to write this beautiful story.

I will never forget receiving the news of our potential match, finding out that you were expecting triplets, and then sharing this news with our families last Thanksgiving. Our excitement grew as we prepared to join you at a prenatal appointment the first weekend in December. Our first visit to meet you was filled with excitement, nervousness, and fear, but as we walked in the door of the doctor’s office and you turned to me with the most beautiful smile and hug, all of the fears and anxiety melted away. December 11, 2017, was the day God’s miraculous plans for our families began to unfold. Spending the day with you was a dream come true, as was hearing our babies’ heartbeats for the first time. 

Over the next few months you graciously allowed us to join you at each appointment. Not only did Adam and I get to be involved in the pregnancy, but we also got to know you. We laughed, we cried, and we became a family, and I learned that you have so many traits that I hope are passed down to our daughters. You are kind, selfless, beautiful, strong, and bring so much joy to everyone you meet. I am so thankful for all of the time we had with each other leading up to the birth of our daughters on February 27, 2018, for the months following while we were in the NICU, and for our visit in August.

We have a beautiful open adoption, and our birth mother paid our girls many visits during their stay in the NICU.
Our birth mother during one of her many visits to the NICU

I didn’t know how to navigate the messy adoption waters, I didn’t know what an open adoption would look like, and it honestly scared me a little; but I wouldn’t want it any other way. It brings me so much joy to speak with you, to share pictures and updates of our little girls, and to share motherhood with you. 

I am often reminded of this quote from Jody Landers: “A child born to another woman calls me Mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” I promise you that today and every day of our lives we will celebrate you, the one God placed in our lives to make us parents. Your selflessness and love for our daughters will never be forgotten. I know your decision to adopt wasn’t easy, and I pray for you daily. As we go into the holiday season, I want you to know how thankful we are for you and for the continued relationship with you. I am looking forward to the coming months as we begin to plan our next trip to see you for the girls’ first birthday. I know adoption can be messy, but it can also be so beautiful. I feel so blessed that we have this beautiful open adoption and love sharing our story. I am proud that we get to share parenthood with you.

With love,

Becky

 

Previous articleChristmas Tree Day :: A Tradition of Celebrating Our Stories
Next articleMouth Injuries in Children :: What You Need to Know
Avatar
Becky was raised in the small town of Corner, Alabama just north of Birmingham. She attended Auburn University where she met her husband Adam. After marrying, they moved back to Birmingham and lived in the Mt. Laurel area with their three pups until four years ago when they relocated to Dallas, Texas where life took a triple-sized turn. In February 2018, their prayers were answered when they welcomed triplet daughters, Alie Ana, Alexandra, and Mila into their family. Through years of prayer, struggles, and the beauty of adoption, God grew their family larger than they had ever hoped or dreamed. As of May, they are proud to set their roots back in the Birmingham area again and to be surrounded by wonderful family and friends. Becky is learning the balancing act of working a full-time job, raising triplets, taking care of three dogs, and being a wife; but through God's grace, she finds joy in the chaos everyday. You can keep up with all this craziness on Instagram @reesetriplets.